eyes wide shut and I wanna go home
a city full of people, but I wake up alone.
perhaps if I could muster up the courage to leave my house
I'd find a reason not to be so disenchanted
with everything I've become
I'm losing a dying game, say I'm happy
but I'm tired and I'm angry
I cannot be content unless I'm miserable
a walking contradiction and I'm so tired of this fact
held on to such a stale pain for so long
it feels like I've forgotten what anything else feels like
I'm so over this grief, I'm so over the scorn
want to run away want to escape
everything I've become
a lack of confidence and I'm trembling with shame
wish I knew how to ask for help without my pride in the way
'cos when you're small everything is a game
now I'm older and I'm tired of playing pretend.
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